The Roscoe! Report

Ball don't lie.

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Last night Chauncey had 28 and 19, Rip scored 36 and we had a classic Ben 17 boards, 4 steals, 5 blocks stat line; however, the big story out of the game was Ben Wallace's goggles.

From the Detroit News:

Goggled Wallace sees way past Kings
'Magic glasses' give center the 'energy' for a 17-rebound, five-block, four-steal extravaganza.

From the Detroit Free Press' Pistons Corner:

Ben Wallace boggles in red goggles.

But by far the best quote came from the man of the night, Chauncey Billups.

He looked like Blankman.

In other news, Chauncey Billups is the best point guard in the NBA. Better than Nash, Parker, J. Kidd, Baron Davis. Better than all of them. Chauncey isn't even a true point and he's the best in the league.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Memory Loss

-Krista Latham suggests we forget the debacle in Utah. I completely agree. But it is always nice to see Memo again, even if he is helping to defeat the Pistons. Such fond Memo-ries. (Lame, I know, but I can't help myself when it comes to Okur.) He's lovable. This all being said, here's some other things for you to forget once you read them.

-AK47 tore us up. He's probably the best basketball player who looks remarkably like Ivan Drago.

-Carlos Boozer needs to save austistic puppies at this point to redeem himself karma wise.

Now that we've forgotten everything above, let's look back at the big picture. 15-3 after 18 games is pretty damn good. (I realize I have probably said this after every loss, and I will continue to say it after losses. So long as they continue to come at the current rate.) I also realize the West isn't what it used to be, but travelling to the opposite coast this often early in the year is really tough. It could have been disasterous if the Pistons did not come out of this looking strong. We all are firm believers in Flip Saunders at this point, and that was the question mark coming into this season. (Besides Darko, man has he regressed since showing Mutumbo up.)
We should also note the state of the three teams who were supposed to be better than our beloved Stones this year. The Pacers best player (Yes, Ron Artest is their best player.) wants out. The Pacers appear like their going to acquiesce to his request. There is no way their team gets better talent wise, even Peja is a definite drop off. And as we've seen from the Iggles, losing the distraction doesn't make up for losing the talent.
The Heat pulled a Lakers circa 2003 in the offseason, aquiring older talent that doesn't fit the teams needs for role players. Now Pornstache Stan is gone. (Stan Van Gundy is even a pretty good porn name.) I don't know if Pat Riley is the answer for this teams troubles though. Either way, this team is not as dominant as they were expected to be.
The Spurs are still very good. They will continue to be very good. They're one of the best run franchises in all of sports. They did lose to the Hawks, though. (Which I actually had to double check.) Christmas day might just be one game, but it will be interesting to see. (Also, ABC realizes that no one cares about Shaq and Kobe anymore, right? I mean, we know Shaq's not going to coldcock him, is Miami-LA really still a Christmas day matchup?) I want to see how the Flip led Pistons stack up against Timmy and co.

(Side note: I think this is my best headline yet. Get it? Memory Loss? We lost to Memo, and we should forget it. Layers upon layers in that one.)

Where the hell I've been

-Not posting, thats for sure. And I really don't have any commentary about anything. I've been mostly drunk or studying. It's like we're starting fresh. Deal with it.

-As I type this, Rasheed Wallace is on Streetball wearing a Joe Montana Chiefs jersey. We still love him. That is all. I'm going to be more up to date. It's my pre new years revolution. I owe that to my readers, who don't exist.


Friday, December 02, 2005

They're not booing, they're saying Bruce

It's town full of losers
And I'm pulling out of here to win

LB didn't "pull out of here" to win. And without a doubt, the majority of the Palace will be booing, not saying Bruce. (Or, gasp!, politely applauding.) Either way, Pound for Pound returns tonite, and I certainly have mixed emotions. This leaves Palace-goers with a question: To boo or not to boo?

On the one hand, LB led the Pistons to a NBA Championship (and almost two) in his only two years. That atleast earned him some of our collective respect, right?

On the other hand, there certainly was a sour taste left in our mouth after he left. (Or got fired, the story LB sticks too, which isn't helping his case. He forced Joe D and Billy Davidson to fire him. He got his dream job out of this. Don't be bitter Larry, we're not trying to.) He
was certainly a distraction during the playoffs last year. He refused to use the bench. He screwed with Darko's head so much, we'll probably never get to see what he truly could have been. It was a good relationship, overall, but the break up was bad.
I'm personally choosing the Jennifer Aniston approach. I'm going to be the bigger man about this. If I was in attendance, I would applaud LB politely and boo the rest of the Knicks. LB gets a temporary pass. We all need to heal. (Paranthetical note: Allen Iverson is the only man who has an all time booing pass from me. I will never boo him.) GQ's man of the year, you're quite the example.

Note: I can't believe I went through this LB post without this picture, so here it is. I had always secretly hoped that he would wear this sweater when the Pistons wore their thunderbolt throwbacks. Sadly, it was not to be.