The Roscoe! Report

Ball don't lie.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

TiVo'ing the Pistons

As you may have heard, I got a TiVo for Christmas. I have no doubt it will essentially ruin my life. But until that day, it will be a glorious experience. But in honor of me watching entirely too much television, I bring you the Pistons, and their TV alter egos. I'm thinking of making this a regular thing, because I watch too much TV anyways. Today, the starters.

Todays TV Show: Lost

Chauncey Billups is Jack:
The Roscoe! Report's slurping of Chauncey Billups continues. Jack is essentially the main character. (Although per the show's style, sometimes he barely appears in episodes.) Either way, Jack, the doctor, is the central cog around which the stranded rotate. Nothing too important happens without his input, and every once in a while he makes an executive decision. (Like moving to the caves.) Chauncey, as the point guard, is always involved. But when the offense is working, Chauncey can force the ball and make plays. He's the only Piston who can do that.

Ben Wallace is Mr. Eko:
This one was based mostly off looks. And the fact that I am potentially terrified of them. Plus, in a recent flashback, Eko was shown to have cornrows, but he's now working on a mini-fro. Neither of them smile too often either.

Rasheed Wallace is John Locke:
Both of them have all the tools. (Rasheed has the inside outside game, Locke is some uber-scout with a briefcase full of knives.) Unfortunately, they're both crazy. Being crazy can sometimes hurt the team/island society. (Rasheed doesn't play enough minutes because of fouls, Locke was resposible for Boone's death.) Both also had their skills hindered previously, Rasheed playing with a team of crazies in Portland, Locke being stricken to a wheelchair.

Tayshaun Prince is Sun (The Korean Chick):
I didn't expect much out of Sun as a character. She didn't speak English. Tayshaun rarely....rarely played the first season. Then Tayshaun came to life and became a solid role player and a defensive stopper in the playoffs and we learned that Sun secrectly new English. Then Tayshaun broke LeBron's ankles and we saw Sun in a bathing suit. It seemed like the sky was the limit for these two. Unfortunately, Sun hasn't developed from a minor character and Tayshaun most likely won't turn into the force that I had hoped as recently as the beginning of this season.

Richard Hamilton is Michael:
They both do basically one thing, but they both do that one thing really well and very often. Rip shoots the mid range jumper. Michael fanatically searches for his son while saying things like "They took my boy." Repeatedly.


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