Andrea Bargnani's Divina Commedia

Canto I

Halfway through our time in life
I found myself eligible for draft,
My upside being certainly rife.

Because I hadn't honed my craft,
The loudest doubted my skill.
But knowing them to be daft,

I was called first to the hill
By a man more stern than most
Ahead of EA's crying shill,

Young men in the post,
and the pisser with the DUI,
But I do not mean to boast.

Now, I am not naturally shy,
but during my interview
with the man with the lazy eye

The words I found were few,
'Cause though I have side of up,
The Americans, they chose to boo

As if I were some poor schlup.
But I had the answer for Mr. Scott:
"I from Europe."