The Roscoe! Report

Ball don't lie.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Primetime Spelling

The grand experiment of watching kids spell words I've never heard of has been a rousing success. And as always, some intriguing characters emerged. Better than you'll see on most reality television. I was completely attached to these kids over the course of the day. Honestly, I would watch this over American Idol. These are the most compelling people on TV.

There was Rajiv Tarigopula, the silent assassin. Rajiv was all business, refusing to fraternize at the outdoor barbecue/picnic gathering and staying at a different hotel than all the other contestants. Whenever the camera found him, he gave it a death stare. He was like the Kobe Bryant of the Bee. And I oddly found myself rooting for him. Of course, he didn't win.

There was also Charley Allegar. You will see him on Sportscenter. Because he's a meathead. He led the hilarious "1-2-3 Spell" chant. While every other contestant threw their arms up, Charley pounded his fist down. He probably should have competed in Under Armour. When the camera came to him, he pulled up his sleeve and flexed for the camera. Glorious. In his bio, we find that he's a three sport athlete. Figures. He didn't win.

You of course have heard about Saryn Hooks. She's the girl who was eliminated, only to return when the judges overruled their previous decision. The more I think about this, the more I hope this was some secret conspiracy to create an interesting story. But I'm just cynical and paranoid. One thing I'm pretty sure of is that Saryn is the type of girl I would have a crush on in middle school. She finished third.

The lovable Canuck champ was the runner-up to the winner, who, you could say, was born in the USA. Kerry Close, sponsored by the Asbury Park Press won.

I apologize for the lame Bruce joke. (Paranthetical note concerning the Boss. Michael Wilbon has not only never watched Seinfeld, he's never heard of "Thunder Road." I don't get him sometimes.)


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