The Roscoe! Report

Ball don't lie.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Roscoe! Report Sports Illustrated World Cup Preview Review

This weeks Sports Illustrated has, quite possibly, the most ridiculous preview in the history of print media.

First, four members of USA soccer appear on the cover. (Including some guy named Gooch! [In the yellow box above. It's more visible here.]) Landon Donovan points as threateningly as he can while the SI headline gets all in our grill. "As they take on the world, the young American stars believe they can win. Are you with them?" Apparently, Sports Illustrated is not, because in their predictions section the US team fails to make it out of the first round.

The insanity doesn't end there. From the quarterfinals on, Grant Wahl makes very specific, yet amazingly vague predictions. For instance, England will eliminate the Ivory Coast on "a goal by Michael Owen." No predicted final score. Brazil will eliminate Spain almost certainly "on a shot from Ronaldo;" however, the final tally is such a mystery that no prediction is warranted. The "prediction" for the France-Germany semi gives a general statement on Frances momentum from round one. There is only one predicted score in the entire article, a bold 2-1 final for the Brazil- England semi. Never before have I seen such a scattershot magazine article.

Plus, they actually printed Gooch on the cover.
I get it's the nickname for Oguchi Onyewu and all, but it is also a fairly lewd term.
Either way, the Roscoe! Report got two things out of the SI Preview, the official soccer player of the Roscoe! Report: Gooch! Plus, they gave us the link to the kick ass Trinidad and Tobago World Cup theme.


Gooch!

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