The Roscoe! Report

Ball don't lie.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

The World Cup Heritage Problem

As a red-blooded American, I am required to root for the Red, White and Blue in international sporting events. I hear Michael Phelps is a douche bag, but I'm still glad that douche won all those medals. I do not find this requirement to be a burden. In fact, I take great pleasure chanting U-S-A! U-S-A!, which is invariably the greatest chant in the history of time.

Here comes the Stephen A:


The World Cup is an unique oppurtunity for exception. Soccer is an old world game. The old country, whichever country that is, not only cares more about their football, but also is likely better at it. This brings me to my current conundrum: this afternoon's match.

Italy vs. America

I should probably root for America because...
-I'm American
-I love that the team USA has a player called Gooch
-I'm American (which is normally enough)

I could, though, root for Italy because...
-I'm Italian-American
-Italy will probably win this match and could win the whole thing
-I don't care enough about soccer to consider this high treason
-America's team appears lazy enough that I could root against them regardless of opponent

In a way, the fact that this is even a debate indicates that soccer truly hasn't arrived in America. In another more accurate way, I just like rooting for a winner. I'm going to cop out on this one. Luckily, soccer provides another unique oppurtunity.


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