The Roscoe! Report

Ball don't lie.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

NFL Announces This Year's Lame Musical Act for Opening Week

Diddy to headline kickoff concert. Great. Whenever an article refers to the headlining act as a mogul rather than an artist, you know you're in for trouble. But that wasn't even the most disconcerting fact concerning this years Kickoff celebrations. If you want to spend the next couple minutes questioning your sanity and the collective well-being of mankind, by all means, read on.

5. The Show will also air a performance by Rascall Flatts from Heinz Field.

4. Diddy will be joined by Cassie, Tego Calderon and DJ Riz for the South Beach performance. At the risk of sounding like an old man, I have no idea who these people are and I'm sure their music is too loud. Now get off my lawn.

3. The NFL's marketing campaign this year is called "One Game. One Dream." The only way this can be rectified is if Don Cheadle is prominently involved.

2. The Opening Kickoff special will air on NBC, the same network that ruined the Olympics.

1. Diddy is a three-time grammy winner.


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